Working Through Rejection

Photo Jul 26 12 36 16 PMThere is no arena in which parenting seems to be more difficult of a task that in teaching your child how to work through rejection. Lately it seems that every other meme or inspirational quote tells you to love yourself first and then everything falls into place, everything from being happy to finding the perfect partner will come as soon as you love yourself completely. As if this extremely complex endeavour serves as a magic pill for life and happiness. I can’t say I believe this. Sometimes it feels like I love myself so much that I am shocked when others don’t see how wonderful I am, LMAO. Okay, so that sentence was hard to type with a straight face but there is a bit of truth in it.

I am a serial entrepreneur. And every business I create relies on what people think of me, my talent, my abilities, and way of self-expression. So if the proposals, that I put my heart and soul into, are rejected, "I" am rejected. This doesn’t cause major traumatic effects in my life but I seem to go through the same "why" rollercoaster every time. Some aspects of this introspective work are productive, as I dig deep to see how I could have done better, what else I can learn, and in what areas I am not giving 100%. But there are also areas that I cannot change, like looks, age, and all the areas woman seem to feel insecure about themselves in. There are always areas of your life that you are just winging and feel like an impostor pretending otherwise. This doesn’t seem to change with time. The areas that you focus to improve may get better but new ones will pop up to take their place.

Part of being a mom is that as you are dealing with for yourself, your child approaches you with a heart break after being rejected for being themselves, and you sit them down and look at them in the eye and you tell them how wonderful they are and that rejection does not make them less wonderful. How not everyone will see their beauty but that doesn’t mean they are not beautiful. And you wholeheartedly believe this! But deep inside you know that hearing those words coming from you will have no effect on how they are feeling. One, because it comes from you and they will most likely know you love them unconditionally, and two, because you know this and still feel the pain of rejection.

You give their young minds points of contention to argue with themselves when they feel down or insecure, so their inner self can tell their mind how wonderful they really are. Make sure they know that rejection does not define them, even if they feel not good enough, they can work on being a stronger version of themselves or refine their skills and try again. And then you just have to sit back and watch them work through the pain and heart break of not being embraced or celebrated for who they are. And suffering plain out sucks, but watching your child suffer is much, much worse. Yet these are the lessons that will inspire them and build strength of character while empowering them as they choose who they want to become and the life they wish to live.

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