It has been a little more than a year now since we started traveling, since we decided to take my work and my daughter’s homeschooling on the road, and still every time we are about to embark on a new adventure I am filled with a sort of anxious fear. I have started to embrace this feeling. Mainly because as I listen to it, I feel it’s not requesting for me to grow roots, but to be mindful of each step. The way I plot my destination has always been for me a sort of listening technique. I listen to what the universe presents, I hold it and feel it, and if it feel right, I say yes. This has a tendency of plotting a course of discovery. I end up in places that are magical with people that are conscious and in adventures I could have never imagined.
This letting go hasn’t always been easy. The very first trip we took in this manner was to New York City. I had lived in NYC for a couple of years during college, but I never grew to understand its flow. So I had a love and hate relationship with it, mostly hate lol, which was confusing when the universe asked me to start there. How did the universe ask? Well, I was sitting on a plane, alone, getting ready to take off to the big apple for a weekend to meet a friend, and this very friendly man from Macedonia sits next to me all frazzled and out of sorts complaining about his seat assignment. He was older than I but quite handsome and well put together, shuffling through he’s handheld items and complaining to me as if he had known me for years, switching from Spanish to English fluidly so sure that I knew both. The whole spirit of the situation put a smile on my face and I just sat back as it unrolled. Then, he stopped. He looked at me. But like REALLY looked at me and said “Hi, I’m Luciano!” and very courteously offered his hand. We talked non-stop for the remainder of the flight and hit topics I found very amusing. Then by the end of the flight he had assumed the role of protector. It’s like he knew who I was and knew what he’s role was, and was clear that I, a stranger he met only 3 hours prior, was trust worthy. He offered me a ride to my destination so I wouldn’t have to take the train which at 3am he considered unsafe, to which I politely declined, and offered me a place to stay any time I was in town. He had a second home in Puerto Rico and family in Sweden so the apartment sat empty often. That was the beginning. The beginning of me saying yes.
At this point I was not ready, I had a bakery that took 75% of my existence to run and I had no idea what was next for me. So I sat with his offer and chatted online with him once in a while just to catch up. And then one day I was ready. I no longer had the bakery. I was ready to see the world. And he was taking off to Puerto Rico. It was perfect sincronicity and I could not say no. SO I said yes! Scared out of my mind, nervous that it was the wrong decision, and so excited to be letting my crazy out.
That was the beginning for me. A new level of letting go of supposed tos, a new level of surrender and the beginning of a journey I could have never imagined. And that is exactly the point of my journey, to go beyond the limits of my knowledge, of my comprehension, of what I consider to be common. And most importantly…take my kids with me. Allow them to develop organically, but not because they are presented with the world I chose to live in but because in seeing what can be, they can create their own universe of wonder. Each step we take is not only a new beginning but it is taken by a new version of ourselves.