When I was a child, the saying “children should be seen and not heard” was commonly used to describe how children ought to behave. It was as though people were expected to mold their children into little superhumans devoid of feelings or emotions of any sort. This concept, while sounding extreme, sums up society quite well.

The realization that many of today’s children are zombie-like is blamed largely on anything and everything electronic, but the molding process begins at home. Children are taught from an early age how to “belong.” This, to a degree, is a necessary evil as living in society necessitates coexisting with other human beings. But as people are becoming aware of old programming that has not served them, they are also realizing that being part of society does not require snuffing out children’s innate strengths.

Humanity is beginning to open itself up to the concept that children’s core personalities can be nurtured, encouraging them to become the best versions of themselves. By doing this, a child is free simply to exist. Freedom has been shown to be essential to happiness. When the soul feels trapped in an “avatar” that doesn’t properly represent it, it fights to break free. In this fight, we are often stunted by depression, anxiety, and other self-inflicted, yet irrepressible, emotional illnesses.

To help our children avoid these expressions of self-hatred later in life, it is our role now as parents to teach them how to understand who they are and allow them to express themselves naturally. This means we need to be aware of what personality traits they possess and work with them to determine whether these traits were chosen by them or absorbed from their environments. It is our role to guide them through this newly altered state of existence, during which time the soul adapts to being human.  We are not changing who they are, but helping them understand themselves and using that knowledge to their advantage.

While fostering freedom and self-acceptance is crucial for children, learning manners and how to respect rules and customs should never be overlooked because we should all be able to live peaceably within a society.  It is important, however, for parents to be able to answer a child’s most common question as they are teaching the fundamental building blocks of a society—Why?

Children ask “why?” billions of times each day; it’s their brain’s way of filing and classifying data. Knowing “why” is as important as learning the primary lesson itself, because it helps children when it comes to application. As we are teaching our children to say please and thank you, it is important to be prepared for that inevitable moment when they ask “why?” because knowing why something is done is the key to being free. In other words, children should not be forced into blindly following customs without question; they should be taught that when they do follow a custom, it will be received and answered by a certain and desired response. Knowing how we affect each other is important when adapting to coexisting with others and learning from others who may be different from us.

In working towards achieving a healthy balance between nurturing the soul’s natural abilities and giving children tools for coexistence, we can cultivate unique and emotionally powerful individuals, thereby improving society as a whole. It is when we are happy and free that we feel the strongest and are able to accomplish anything we set our minds to, creating success and unlimited possibilities.