Do you ever get excited when you find something that hurts?

Depicted by things like laughter at a funeral or an awkward smile during a fight.

I migrated to the USA when I was 10 years old. I would like to say I took it well, because it is now probably one of the best things that has happened to me. But I didn’t, not even close lol. At least not at first.

The only family I had ever known up to that point of my life resided in that country with me. I had created a sense of who I was by living a live with them. I felt an out of this world love for each and every one of them. And I relished in each and every moment we had spent together.

I felt safe in their presence.

So when my dad shared his game plan of moving to the USA, I… flipped… out!

 I yelled as loud as I could and uttered who knows what and locked myself in the downstairs bathroom.

I felt betrayed.

None-the-less, none of this was up to me, so we plowed ahead with my dad’s plan.

The next memory that sticks out for me, was the whole family gathering at my grandma’s house to say goodbye.

This was it.

In a few hours we would be boarding the plane to exist in a seemingly different realm of reality. We piled into the car. Something I remember always being a tight squeeze, as back then a seat belt did not depict how many people were supposed to fit in that long bucket seat of the Malibu.

 

I just wanted to cry.

My soul felt so heavy. Not from sadness or happiness, but from many years of pent up emotion.

It was as if my emotions finally had the okay to unleash their cooped-up fury on every part of my being.

I had been creating six figures worth of product, mostly alone. I would wake up between 2 and 4 in the morning, sitting up in my bed ever so slowly to keep my nausea at bay. I would slip on my soft and stretchy work pants so as not to disturb the swelling that came from the lack of sleep and poor eating patterns. I would brush my teeth, pull my hair back and, barely looking in the mirror, I would head to work.

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Author

Karen Matamoros

Karen Matamoros is an alternative education coach and founder of Project: KAring, who decided to homeschool her daughters after a couple of years in the system, taking them on a journey through deschooling, unschooling and, the last few years, road/worldschooling as they travel full time. Click here to get her free 10 tips for flow in home education.

I don’t know what it is like to fear for my life when in public.

 

I don’t know what it is like to fear the cops pinning me down until I drew my last breath.

 

I don’t know what it is like to be afraid to go for a run and never come back home to my children.

 

I don’t know what it is like to fear being shot by those who took an oath to protect and serve, when being stopped for a traffic violation.

 

I don’t know what it is like to be full-on discriminated against.

 

As a fair skinned Latina, people always assume I am American.

 

Even growing up in Venezuela, as a little blonde, light eyed 7 year old child with light freckled rosy cheeks, the other kids would get close to my shy face, softly pet or pinch my cheek and merrily call me “gringa”.

 

As if it was the sweetest, most suiting compliment they could ever give another human being.

 

   

     I started this thing ready! Pumped! Even Excited! As a fan of the post-apocalyptic genre, I had been preparing for this moment my whole life! I have found myself many times watching these types of films anxiously sitting at the edge of my sit, grasping on to the chair for dear life, dying to jump through the screen to tell the character what I would do, how I would handle things, or to help them kick some zombie butt.

 

So of course as soon as I heard the news, I went into “Alice” mode.

 (For those of you that are not Sci-Fi fans, that’s Mila Jovovich’s character in the Resident evil movies… by far one of my favs from the zombie, virus, post-apocalyptic genre)

            I quickly found my daughters and I a place to bunker down, journeyed out to gather enough rations for the 14 days, and got to work on helping my business flow with the changes that were coming.

 

I was ready! …inspired! …pumped! No zombies would break through our perimeter!!!

I mean people…

I mean virus…

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ABOUT KAREN

Karen Matamoros is a coach helping parents create freedom in life, business and homeschooling while creating daily flow and cultivating their relationship with their children. She is also the founder of Project: KAring, an alternative education portal for kids focused on the body, mind, and soul. She created this community to make free form education easily accessible to every child, though a directory, forums and scholarships. A few years ago, she decided to sell her 6-figure business to start unschooling her two daughters on the road full time and has been traveling the world ever since.

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