I just wanted to cry.

My soul felt so heavy. Not from sadness or happiness, but from many years of pent up emotion.

It was as if my emotions finally had the okay to unleash their cooped-up fury on every part of my being.

I had been creating six figures worth of product, mostly alone. I would wake up between 2 and 4 in the morning, sitting up in my bed ever so slowly to keep my nausea at bay. I would slip on my soft and stretchy work pants so as not to disturb the swelling that came from the lack of sleep and poor eating patterns. I would brush my teeth, pull my hair back and, barely looking in the mirror, I would head to work.

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Author

Karen Matamoros

Editor’s note: read the full series here. 

This is a question I’ve asked myself every time tax season comes around, any time I’ve had to keep a home functional, or any time I’ve attempted to create a workable budget.

I was good at school, not great but good. I always did my work, got good grades, and followed the rules.

And yet, here I was as an adult, feeling like an utter failure at everything I attempted. I mean, I had some great accomplishments throughout my life, but I still never felt good enough because I judged my accomplishments in comparison to others like I was taught in school.

Feeling like my education had failed me, I decided to homeschool my girls. I had so many things I wanted them to learn, so much I wanted them to experience, and I wanted to give them creative freedom of their lives. So, naturally, I packed their first curriculum with not only every academic subject recommended by the state but also with every other area of study imaginable that I felt would create this well-rounded individual I so desired to raise.

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Author

Karen Matamoros